Is it true that SMS leads to misunderstandings?
Communication killer WhatsApp: HOW you prevent misunderstandings when chatting
Anyone who chats frequently with their partner or friends knows this: You talk past each other, feel misunderstood, and suddenly find yourself in an argument. “This is because there is no longer any non-verbal communication. Facial expressions and gestures are important so that the message gets across to the right person, ”explains Yvonne Glock, psychologist and lecturer at the Fresenius University of Applied Sciences in Hamburg.
The communication expert explains further: "A message always consists of four levels. The factual level revolves around the pure content of the message. On the appeal level, there is a request for action for my counterpart. The relationship level says something about the relationship between the interlocutors and another Level says something about myself. ”The problem with chatting: It is difficult to assess in correspondence which level plays which role.
Tip 1: stay on the factual level
The recipient can interpret the message “I'm really stressed at the moment” in different ways. The broadcaster may want to express that they are very busy and have little time for activities. But the recipient can also see it as a sign of disinterest.
“Women very often communicate on the relationship level, men more often on the factual level. When chatting, women often ask themselves whether something is wrong in their partnership, ”says Glock. Disputes are inevitable.
The psychologist recommends: “You should always stay on the factual level when chatting. Messenger are good for appointments or other content coordination. But for problems or complex topics, misunderstandings quickly arise, ”explains Glock. Love messages like "miss you" are okay, couples should have extensive conversations about the relationship face to face.
Tip 2: clarify the meaning of emojis
Emojis can also cause misunderstandings. “A study has shown that people interpret emojis differently. This means that a message can quickly be misunderstood, ”says graduate psychologist Yvonne Glock. Because emojis can give a sentence different meanings: ironic, smiling, sad, angry.
The emoji with white clouds in front of the nose and eyebrows in V-position originally stands for triumph and success. But many people see an angry face in it. The broadcaster can perceive the sentence "That went really well" as either angry and therefore ironic or triumphant. The psychologist advises: "Talk about how you understand different emojis. And remember that the pictures vary depending on the manufacturer and platform. "
By the way:In the video we show you what the WhatsApp emojis actually mean!
Tip 3: clear up misunderstandings
If you have the feeling that something is going wrong, you should address it directly, according to our expert Glock. If your partner sent you a hurtful remark, you could ask: "Do you really mean the way I got it?"
If you feel that you have misunderstood yourself, the only thing that helps is to explain the message. “The important thing is to use I-messages. To make your own feelings transparent is always better than a reproach in the sense of 'You hurt me with it!' ”, Says Glock.
Tip 4: Make external circumstances transparent
In addition to non-verbal communication, something is missing when chatting: You cannot see the circumstances in which your partner is. Maybe he actually wants to chat, but is still at work and therefore only writes sporadically. Perhaps he is talking to someone else at the same time and is therefore delayed in answering. Or he has problems with his internet connection.
“In such cases, too, one should ask straightforwardly: does it suit you? Or are you stressed? ”Advises the psychologist. In order to avoid frustration with your partner, you should only use the messenger if you can answer. If the partner sees blue ticks or the "online" stamp, but does not receive an answer, it is frustrating.
Tip: You can find out how to turn off the blue tick and many more brilliant WhatsApp tricks here!
By the way: The gofeminin editorial team is also on WhatsApp: SO you can follow us!
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