How does real love feel?

How does love feel

When the first fall in love disappears, everyday life returns. The butterflies in your stomach give way to routine. You have less time for each other. In addition, there are occasional conflicts and quarrels. At some point you might wonder if this is really the great love you've dreamed of all your life.Shouldn't he carry you on his hands, be the second half of your soul and give your life meaning?

We expose misconceptions about love.

Surprise: True love is much quieter, more powerful, and more comprehensive than you might think. How does love feel We'll tell you here!

Everything sounds very simple in romance novels. The very young, beautiful heroine meets a man and you as a reader immediately know: The is it! Until the protagonist and her Mr. Right come together, there are all sorts of misunderstandings, obstacles, errors and confusions. After all, you should really cheer while reading. In the end love wins.

After the happy ending, you close the book again. No question about it: the two characters in the novel have found great happiness.

But what about this one Dream couple after two, five, ten or fifteen years? Are you still on cloud nine? Most authors avoid telling love stories any further. There is a reason for this: true love is something warm, calm, familiar. And deeply undramatic.

Love is not about New Year's Eve in New York, kisses under the umbrella and the best sex in the world. It's about everyday life.

So how does that feel daily togetherness with a loving partner?

How being in love feels

In reality, it's more complicated than in love stories. Just like your novel heroine, you get to know someone. You may be sure of your feelings. He may still have doubts. Whether you will end up becoming a couple is in the stars. Even if someone is pulling the strings of fate in the background, you have no idea in which direction it is going.

Newly in love, there is nothing more important to you than your new boyfriend. Your insides are filled with a feeling of happiness that can hardly be described. You would love to hug the whole world. Everything feels overwhelming. You want to spend every free moment with your sweetheart. Touch him. Be close to him.

You are totally awake. Sleep? Eat? Do not you need.

Unsolvable Problems? There is not any. The main thing is that you are with him.

When your feelings are reciprocated, you feel strong, confident, irresistible, and sexy. You love and you are loved. Compliments, appreciation, touch, all of this is incredibly good. A huge boost for the ego!

This is even more pronounced when you're out and about together. recognition you get not only from him, but also from countless people who see you together.

Then there is the physical appreciation: No matter how beautiful you are, you are probably not satisfied with your body. Correct? Most women judge themselves harshly. Pleasurable and tender touches silence your inner critic. There is someone who loves you, who wants you and who desires you.

It's the best feeling in the world!

When love is not returned

But not every fall in love automatically means happiness. You may be longing for a man who doesn't share your feelings. Unrequited love hurts incredibly. Emotionally, you probably fluctuate between cheering and saddened to death. Then that feels Be in love like an open wound. It hurts to think of the loved one or to meet them and to know: "He does not love me.

Then the search for the right thing and the special love continues.

How does love feel after years

If you are in a long love relationship, you will understand: the initial infatuation doesn't last forever. At some point it disappears pink glasses. The hormones calm down and everyday life returns.

Your heart may still race when he looks at you. Perhaps, even after years, his touch will electrify you as it did on the first day. Or you can empathize with exactly how your first kiss felt.

It is also possible that your desire for one another diminishes.

Then you are asked to take an active part exciting sex life take care of. For this it is important to give physical intimacy a permanent place. Be creative and try something new! One advantage over being in love: after a while you will know how you look naked and (hopefully) what you like in bed. Maybe you have secret erotic desires that you have previously hidden from each other?

The secret of long-lasting relationships is to keep the other person steady to rediscover.

Deep love is something beautiful. You know your partner. His habits, thinking, reacting, and dealing with difficulties. It shows itself to you without pretending to be. You know his best and his worst quirks. His strengths and his vulnerabilities. It is also the other way around. You can just be yourself in front of him.

Trust and familiarity give you security. That is exactly what sets you both free. Love may feel like security and "Arrive" at.

Your partnership is, so to speak, a protection zone from which you develop yourself further, dare to do new things and realize your dreams and goals. These can be common goals or goals of your own.

5 misconceptions about love

Some ideas persist. We owe that to Hollywood romances and romance novels. We have compiled the most important misconceptions for you here. You may find yourself thinking a thing or two for yourself.

  1. You need your partner like the air you breathe

What at first sounds like a declaration of love is nothing more than an expression of dependence. His strong arms give you protection and security. When you are sad, you can find comfort in your loved one. In hard times he stands behind you. All of this is wonderful. However, you shouldn't your boyfriend needto master your life.

You are responsible for yourself. independence is very important in a love relationship. You shouldn't need your partner like a mountain climber need oxygen.

To love means that you have chosen your treasure for its own sake. Not because you Fighting to survive and need someone by your side, but because he is a wonderful person with loving character traits.

It's about perceiving the other person.

  1. You selflessly sacrifice yourself for him

Selflessness is a danger to your relationship. That probably sounds like a contradiction. True love shouldn't selfless be? No. To love is to give and to take. This is not a one-way street. You have your own needs. If you love your boyfriend, you are probably doing everything you can to make him happy. If he loves you too, he will want to do the same for you.

However, your needs may differ. This is not a problem. It is important that you both get your money's worth. If you notice that you are missing out, talk to him about your wishes and find a solution together. Otherwise you will sacrifice yourself for him, in the hope that he will perceive it - and of his own accord start to reciprocate.

should that Accomodation from his side if you fail to do so, you will probably blame him at some point. It doesn't make you happy if you completely ignore your needs and desires.

To love means to be there for one another.

  1. You need your partner to be complete

It sounds romantic. The man by your side compliments you and completes what you are missing. The challenge here - when you see it as part of yourself, the boundaries are blurring between the I and the you. As nice as it reads in romance novels: In reality, that means you ignore his wishes, needs and his independence.

Maybe you want to do everything with your sweetheart. However, this assumes that you have the same interests and hobbies. That too can be difficult. Is it really possible for one person to give you everything you need? Can you actually meet every need he has?

Probably not. That is not a problem, because for that you both certainly have other people in your life: family, friends and colleagues.

  1. Your partner knows what you are thinking on their own

Granted, some couples have an almost telepathic connection. They complete each other's sentences or say the same things at the same time. But communication is also important in very close relationships. Do not rely on your sweetheart to know everything you want or what is on your mind.

Otherwise you will be disappointed if he doesn’t find out that you would like to decorate the living room. Or that you want to spend your vacation by the sea and not in the mountains.

Love is calledto speak openly to each other.

You stay in contact with each other by talking about yourself, your wishes, thoughts and goals. This is a basic requirement for long-term happiness in a partnership.

  1. For you, jealousy means that you love your partner

If he looks behind a pretty woman, you will be alarmed. You are afraid of losing him. The worry that he will leave you or that another woman will relax you is omnipresent.

That gives away low self-esteem. You fear that you will not get rich. Jealousy doesn't feel like love. Rather, it shows your insecurity and lack of trust. In the worst case, you will even start to control it.

The more you restrict your partner, the more likely they will feel the need to break out.

The five languages ​​of love: let your friend feel your love

American couple and relationship counselor Gary Chapman describes five languages ​​of love that make us feel loved. From this we have derived five relationship tips. They can support you in having a partnership with your loved one on an equal footing.

  1. Don't be stingy with praise and recognition

Compliments express your appreciation and make him feel special.

  1. Spends time together ("Quality time“)

Unrestricted attention means a high quality relationship. These can be common rituals, going out, intimacy or good conversation.

  1. Show love through creative gifts

Surprise your sweetheart and make a small or large wish of your heart come true.

  1. Help your friend in everyday life

Helpfulness and support show that you stand up for one another and belong together.

  1. Make time for tenderness

For many people, touch is a more effective proof of love than any "I love you". Let him feel your feelings.

About the author

Darius Kamadeva - Relationship Expert

Darius Kamadeva is a bestselling author and the leading relationship and dating coach in Germany - especially for women. On his YouTube channel with more than 90,000 subscribers, he helps women with more than 10 years of experience to develop a happy relationship with themselves and with others. His work of accompanying women on their way to become heroines in their lives is known from TV, radio and YouTube. He offers online courses, retreats, seminars, live events, personal coaching and video content that bring women to the love of their lives.