Why don't you experience other religions

Crisis of faith?

Hello,
I've been a Protestant since I was born. However, my family is not very religious. Except for me, everyone usually only goes to church 2-3 times a year. I have to go more often now because I have to prepare for my confirmation. We also never pray together at home, etc. In addition, since I was a toddler I have been teaching Christians almost every week, I take part in every game and I am also relatively active in our small church :-)
I used to pray to Jesus often, but I have had doubts for a long time. I believe in God even though I am well versed in science, the making of the universe, and so on. I doubt that the universe was just there ... something MUST have been before'_ 'I can't imagine it any other way ...
But Jesus ... I just can't see him as God's Son, no matter how often I try to argue. No ... His speeches may have contained good messages, but God's Son? I do not think so...
It's just a feeling, like that God is there ... I think that feeling is faith. I just do not know what to do. On the Internet I have already tried to deal with other religions in order to find something that corresponds to my thoughts and with which I can identify.
I am also not sure whether it has to be GOD who created everything. I just believe that something was there.
In addition, no matter how atheistic they may be, my parents would never allow me to change my religion. I've tried to address my doubts, but they evaded the subject. Even when talking about other religions, such as when a report or the like came on television, they usually talk badly about religions other than Protestantism.
Since I live in a small village, I cannot simply go to other religious communities. Everything far and wide is Christian. The nearest synagogue is about 1.5 hours by car, for example. I feel like I'm somehow alone with this problem, even though there are certainly others who feel the same way.
I ask for help and tips on what to do.
Thanks in advance.