Is aromantic a thing
15 things asexual people want you to know
“Asexuals exist. We are real people. "
BuzzFeed asked asexual people what they wanted others to know about their sexual orientation and identity. They answered that:
1. "I would like to let people know that I am not broken and do not need any medication."
“Just because I did not experience sexual attraction, I was told to have my hormone levels checked, take medication, go to therapy, and so on. I've been called 'prudish' or 'plant' and 'amoeba' - probably by people who completely misunderstand asexuality. Anyway, I'm really happy with where I am at in my life without having to experience sexual attraction. I was created that way and I don't think I'm missing out. So don't tell me that I'm not human or sick or whatever. "
2. "Asexuality is a common sexual orientation and comparing asexual people with plants can definitely get you a slap in the face."
3. “It's okay! We are all different and you decide which label suits you best. "
"If that is asexuality, then you are very welcome in a great and growing community."
4. "Asexuality may not be the norm, but it is just as human as any other form of sexuality."
"Sometimes it is difficult to deal with ignorance, but identifying yourself as asexual can also act like a breakout."
5. “I would like to let people know that I have not been 'deprived' of anything or that I am 'lonely'. I see comments and posts everywhere about my life must be so sad because I have no desire for sex. But it's not. My asexuality gives me freedom. "
“Entering a love relationship was not easy. That's true. But to find someone who is interested in me despite and because of my asexuality has led to us being even closer to each other. "
- anonymous, 23
6. “I don't mind if you ask me questions. In fact, I love to answer them. But please don't be rude! I am not an alien. I'm like you. Just show your support and understanding. "
“A lot of people think that asexuality means that you have something against sex and romance. It is a little rude to say that just because he or she is asexual makes a person shy away from human relationships like a garlic vampire.
Some of us are aromatic and some are not. The subject takes time and understanding, but it's worth it. Asexuality has this fear of the unknown - so it is important that people open their minds and listen. "
7. "Our life is not incomplete because we do not feel any sexual attraction."
“So much in our world and society is based on the assumption that everyone wants to have sex. It is therefore difficult for many to accept that some people are different. We are just as happy and satisfied as everyone else. We are just as unhappy and dissatisfied as everyone else.
We are still human. "
8. “When it comes to asexuality, we are all different. Therefore it may not be so easy to become aware of what exactly that means for you and whether you correspond to the label. "
“If you've identified yourself with another sexuality for a long time and then you realize that you are asexual, that's okay. If you've had sex in the past, that's okay too. If you enjoyed the sex you had, that's okay too! That doesn't devalue you. And when you find someone you find attractive, that's still okay.
I cannot repeat enough how important this is. You are neither broken nor wrong nor confused. You are real and the same goes for your sexuality. "
- anonymous, 17
9. "I would love it if people understood that asexuality is not just a phase and that there is nothing wrong with identifying it that way."
10. “Asexuals exist. We are real people. "
“Sex is not a vital need for people, and it is not at all strange when people are not interested in sex. We are not hormone deficient and we are not mentally ill. Nothing is broken with us. "
11. "We are hardly represented at all in the media."
“Most of the time, the identity of asexual characters featured in mainstream media is not confirmed. And basically, all officially asexual characters are either psychopaths or don't experience sexual attraction until they find The One or The One. And: Characters who are bi should not be portrayed as sex crazy maniacs who cannot enter into long-term relationships. "
12. “Life can be perfect and brilliant without having sex. There are also other things that can be attractive. "
“Even if we are not sexually attracted to people, we can still have a libido - a really strong one - or not. Some people find sex repulsive, others don't. "
13. “You are not broken if you do not have sexual attraction! There is nothing wrong with you! "
“Some people are like that, and that's perfectly fine. Your love is just as valid! "
- Lana 17
14. “I would like to let people know that my sexuality is valid. Existing asexuals and not having sex is actually an option (that's something no one has explained to me before!). "
“I would like to let her know that I am very happy with this, that I am not looking for attention or someone who can 'heal' me.
I am happy to be asexual. It's not a curse and I wish people would stop treating my sexual identity like that. "
15. "Whatever it looks like to you, your identity is correct and everything will be fine!"
“I don't really know what else to say so that people who are not asexual will understand better. But in the end, everyone should know that asexuality, gray asexuality, and demisexuality are valid identities. However you experience them, they are real - no matter who you are or what you've been through. "
This article first appeared in English.
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